I don't DO winter

I don't ski.
I don't snowboard.
I don't go sledding.
I don't skate (outdoors anyway).

I think this probably makes me the worst Canadian ever but I really hate the cold. I hate getting wet and I hate those things combined which is the inevitable result if I participate in any of these types of activities.

When I was younger I LOVED to go sliding, but I have since grown to realize that winter and I are not meant to be. Not even close.

The first and last time I tried downhill skiing, I couldn't make it down the bunny hill without falling. My friend somehow coaxed me into going down one of the big hills. I have no idea why I agreed to this at all, I didn't even know how to get on the ski lift. So we get up to the top, and I fall out of the chair. I can't get up, my friend tries to help but I am way heavier than him so just take a minute to imagine how well that went over.

I eventually got up, started and fell again. And this kept happening and happening and happening and we weren't anywhere near the bottom. An instructor comes up behind us and offers help, I start going, can't stop and tumble over myself and just lay there, defeated. At this point they are in the process of CLOSING the hill and I am refusing to come down on skis. So my friend goes on and I stay with the instructor and eventually someone on a snow mobile comes down and offers me a ride to the bottom and I obviously took it.

On the bright side, I couldn't really be embarrassed because there was no one left in the closed park. So safe to say I will never set foot on a pair of skis again. I looked somewhat similar to Bridget Jones when she attempts it:

but with no smile because I was not laughing at this point. 

This terrible day was followed by a long nap and night full of beer to help soothe me.

So yeah, you could say I'm not the biggest fan of winter. I won't even attempt outdoor skating because if I can't hold on the sides I am doomed. Ain't gonna happen.

If you are a winter, kudos to you. I need to move to Florida.