When that boyfriend thing happens

Try as I may and try as I might, a part of me is one of those girls that spends too much time with their significant other when they first get together. Although I suppose it's a bit different for me given the distance thing, but when S was home for Christmas I didn't go one day without seeing him.

But we also skype or facetime everyday, and text constantly. Which if he was here I assume would translate into constant hangs of pizza and netflix. Maybe it's a blessing because I would be approx. 40 pounds heavier if that was my routine.

I've noticed it in my friends too. It's like we all say that we would never do such a thing, but it happens anyway. I was never really one of those girls who was like waiting around for a boyfriend or cared that much, but apparently it was something I was subconsciously craving. One of my friends always has a boyfriend and she doesn't necessarily ditch us but she would spend a lot of time with them. Funny how I was so critical then and now look at me. (Don't mind the bangs, they are the ruining my life atm).

I've also noticed this happening in the blog world. People are all about their blogs and then it slows gradually once they are in a relationship. And I am certainly not saying this is a bad thing, because like I said, I'm just as guilty. And hey girl, you deserve to be happy. It just makes me sad because I loved blogs when people posted just about their everyday lives. But things happen in waves and cycles! Maybe it'll make a comeback. 

I would just like to understand what it is about relationships that make us do this crazy thang ya feel? Like I was fine hanging with my friends all the time and now all of sudden it's like love has me doing this crazy things and want to constantly be in this person's presence. I guess that is what love does? 

I guess life is all about balance, because I definitely don't want to lose my friends, but what takes precedent? I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

You see? Love makes you stupid and not be able to keep a constant train of thought. OH MY.

Closing chapters

Well this past weekend was a blur as I went through 101 emotions.

I finally got my bachelors degree. It is definitely the most expensive piece of paper I own. It will be hung up for everyone to see. And now everyone around me can stop asking "When are you going to graduate already??"

WELL I DID THANKS BYE.

And my shoes matched the hood :)

One chapter done in my book of life.

Speaking of closing chapters, I am about to embark on a trip to do just that. It's an odd feeling, going to see someone for the last time, but I feel like I need the closure, and I need to know that feelings haven't changed. I need to know that the love that was once there is still there and that it's only the distance that's problem. One more chapter done, another door closed.

Now onto opening new doors, starting new chapters.

Last week there was also a new initiative put in place in my province to fight mental health. That is, get rid of the stigma and help those who need it. This cause is so very near and dear to my heart, as I have personally struggled with mental illness, as well many of my friends.

I can't stress the important of talking and helping. Life is worth living.

At the launch of the program I volunteered at the Planned Parenthood booth. I'll never get over the awkward looks that people give you because they want to come over but are embarrassed. Don't worry I am here to help you with your sexual health!

This video was made by local artist Ameila Curran and features many known Newfoundlanders

. The message is the important part. Everyone needs to see it.

A letter to my future self

Hi thirty-something Janet,

At this point in your life you are almost into your late thirties (34..maybe not that late). I hope you can look back be proud of the things you've accomplished and be proud that you've stayed true to yourself.

I know there are two directions you're life could have gone in, so let's play out both scenarios.

1) You are more than likely working as a special education teacher, if not as a guidance counselor. You know that everyday you see a child smile, and progress and you know that you are helping them, even if it's only in a small way. You might have kids, might be married. Maybe you eventually decided that it is something you wanted.

2) How is your life in France? You managed to survive the distance I see. How is Aurélien? Have you guys been to Ireland together finally? I'm glad this worked out for you. I can see that he makes you so happy and you've never regretted the decision to move. You have a stable job there, teaching English, working with translation. It's something you enjoy doing! Planning any trips back to Canada?

Janet mostly I hope that you have really grown into yourself. You've conquered that pesky anxiety, you don't get migraines anymore, you've put your faith in the friends that deserve it and that you're happy. Whatever continent that happens to be taking place on.

You only deserve happiness, everyone does!

Love,

twenty-something Janet

Life choices

I don't think there has ever been a time in my life where I was sure about anything. I know what I like to do, and I know I can see myself doing those things, it's all just a matter of when.

Ever since I came back from France, my whole family and my friends have had the attitude that "ok you've had you're fun, time to move back home and be serious and think about what you want to do with your life and make some money"

To certain degree, I agreed with them. I'm 24, I should probably have something I want to do, and the means and motivation to do it. As a 16 year old, I envisioned my 24 year old self as having started my career, being engaged and thinking about a future with my children here in Newfoundland. That's the funny thing about life though, it generally never ends up how you expect it would.

I know that I would love to do Speech-Pathology. Or Special education. Those are the areas that interest me, and while I might not get into school the first time, there is always room for improvements and I can always try again. Initially, coming back from France I was ready to work and then apply to grad schools. I signed up for the GRE, bought the materials; this is what my future was and I had to start now.

But then I got job. Then I wondered, why would I not take advantage of opportunities I have now and figure out life after. I almost hate myself for thinking this, but what about my boyfriend? He's over in France with no future plans to move anywhere near here. I'm a huge mess of what am I going to do.

Options:

1) I could stay on the path I'm on now, and apply to grad school and education and start in september.

2) I could start writing my thesis, then continue with school in september.

3) I could put school on hold and work until next summer, saving money so I can go and teach english in France for 7 months.

To be completely honest, I am more inclined to do the third. I'm sure my parents and friends will have a few choice words for that decision, but ultimately, it's what I want. It sounds crazy to say I'm moving to France to be with my boyfriend, but that's not the only reason. School will always be there. I would rather start my career too late and have stories to tell my kids and grand-kids than look back wished I that I had done it.

And maybe it will be the wrong decision, but there's only one way to find out.

Long distance woes

So I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since June, so two months. And while I am most definitely no expert in the field of LDRs, being 2500 miles away from Aurélien has led to find out a few things.

You can bet your bottom dollar that when I initially came home from France I was googling tips on how to make a long distance relationship work, you know, like any normal girl would.  I was overwhelmed with amount of people and articles written on how to make it work.

At first, I really took these to heart; in my mind, if I didn't skype with Aurélien everday then my relationship was doomed. However, after days and weeks of reading, I realized that me trying to do all of these things wasn't working, I had to do what felt right for myself.

That's when I stopped trying to have the same relationship as others. I wasn't them, and they aren't me so why would what worked for them necessarily work for me?

Some of the most common "rules" are:

- You have to make time to skype or talk at least 5 times a week.

First of all, I am a busy person. I work full time and I have other commitments that don't necessarily give me a lot of flexibility, and A is the same way. And more to the point, he doesn't really enjoy skyping. We do skype, of course, but maybe not as often as we "should." And I really am ok with that. We talk everyday via texting, and even if we don't, all I need is a simple "je t'aime" to feel ok.

- There has to be an end point in mind

This was the one that really got me. I still have schooling left and so does he. While I would love to right now just pack up and move back to France permanently, it's not possible, financially or otherwise. And neither of us are willing to give up our own aspirations at the moment, and why should we? He's 22 and I'm 24, I don't know where my life is going to take me but at the moment I'm happy he's a part of it. Don't get me wrong, the physical distance REALLY sucks but you make do I think this rule puts so much pressure on LDRs. I already have a trip planned to go back and visit in October, but beyond that I don't know. But I do know that I love him.

Another aspect of distance is your friends. Mine are super supportive and want to listen, which is awesome. However, what I don't like is if they are separated from their significant other for a while, they are like "oh well I don't know what real distance is because my boyfriend isn't on the other side of the world." Sure maybe he's closer, but I don't want to belittle my friend's feelings because my situation is different. They are allowed to feel whatever they want.

Anyway, I guess all I'm really trying to say in this long winded post is that what works for some couples won't always work for you. You and your partner need to find a common ground and make it work. Some people might think that you're not doing enough, but in the end, it's your relationship not theirs.

Picture this

Oh hello there. Monday is here again, and usually I don't mind them (tuesdays are the worst imo), today was spectacularly awful. Absolutely NOTHING was working for me at work and it made the day drag on.

BUT YOU KNOW, such is life.

Today's Blog Everyday in July prompt is:  3 Pictures - Share your favorite pictures. 1 of anything, 1 you took, and 1 selfie. So let's get this party thing started!

1. Picture of anything

When we went to Port Aventura, a theme park in Barcelona you could get a yard of beer. A YARD for three euros. We decided it would be best to get buzzed before going on all the scary rides so we wouldn't be so frightened but not drunk enough that we would throw up. You would be surprised at how well this logic worked out. 

2. Picture I took

This is the Lennon wall in Prague. People come every day and paint new things on it. You can paint whatever you want! Song lyrics, sayings, drawings ANYTHING. It was a really cool and different thing to see, and some of the quotes people left were really insightful and meaningful for me at the time, and still are. Prague is a beautiful city and you should visit it if you ever have the chance!

3. A selfie

Taken the day after I got home from France. It was definitely bittersweet, but now it's mostly just bitter because I see all these other people traveling in Europe and it's making me really jealous. I'll get back over there at some point.

Well thanks for stopping by on this Monday! Only four more sleeps until Friday!

Later taters.

Picnics and lighthouses

I couldn't be happier about the fact that it's wednesday. Only two more sleeps until friday, which makes the weekend sound closer than it actually is. Whoops. So can I just sleep threw all of tomorrow?

Anywho, this past sunday, myself and three of my besties went to this cute little town about an hour away from where I live to have a picnic at a lighthouse.

how cute are we??

The best part being that they make the food for you! You just put in what kind of sandwich you want, what kind of desert you want and you're on your way! They give you a blanket then you find a spot and they bring it to you! They even give you blankets. It's the CUTEST thing.

This the view you get while enjoying your delicious meal:

We saw whales and puffins and it was just amazing. After binging on the food, we laid down to work on our tan Then finally head out.

If there is anything remotely similar to this near you I would 100% recommend it.

Now I want to know, do you have any must haves for a picnic? For me it's never complete without lemonade, ever.

Would you have a picnic with me please??

These are a few of my favourite things!

Hello hello! Today I will share with you 5 of my favourite things! I'll be honest, picking just five is really hardbecause I like a lot of things. But alas, I have narrowed them down (I think..)

1. Lipstick

I have ZERO ability to refrain from buying a new lipstick when I go to a drugstore or higher end store. I will even buy the same shade but from different brands which evidently means it's a different colour (it doesn't). I have everything from Lancome to Mac to Urban Decay to Covergirl. You name it, I probably have a lipstick by that brand. But it's justified because I wear it every day right??

2. Diet Pepsi

My everything. Seriously, ask anyone who knows me and they will all tell you my favourite drink is a nice cold can of DP. When I was in France they only had coke, the struggle was very real. 

3. Wheat Beers

I only started liking beer a couple of years ago, but now I would consider myself a big fan of the stuff. However, I can't manage a pint of Guinness, it needs to be wheat beer or bust really. My faves are def Rickards White, Shocktop and one from a local brewery here call Wexford Wheat. 

4. Dresses

This isn't surprising given my blog name, but I had to mention it anyway. It's basically the same part of my brain that is addicted to lipstick. Just try and stop me from buying 7 or 8 dresses on a shopping trip to Forever21 or H&M. JUST TRY. I don't care if I have over 100 (I do...), I always want more. Again, I wear them everyday so..it's ok right?

Someone should probably call Intervention. Is that still a show??

And finally,

5. Binge watching TV shows

And not only on Netflix, oh no. I will go out and buy seasons on DVD rather than stream it, and sit in front of my TV for days on end watching the whole thing. And I feel no remorse or guilt for doing so. If I skip a night out to watch One Tree Hill, then I am probably pretty damn happy about it. 

Also, I have been singing the song from the Sound of Music all day. That'll probably keep going all night.

Finish the sentence

Well well well, monday. We meet again..

While I have most definitely not been posting every day in July, this theme seemed like too much fun to pass up. Plus I needed to get something posted because it's been a while you.

(Also, please excuse the little bits of blog everywhere as I'm currently getting my layout edited and YEAH. I'm really good at the internet).

Here we go! Sentence finishing:

When I open the fridge, I always hope I find...

Subway. infinite amounts of subway.

My favorite article of clothing is...

Any maxi dress i own. comfortable and acceptable at work and for play. 

Last week I was really pissed when...

Whennn two of the houses I was supposed to go see were rented to someone else :( the saddest of times. 

One thing nobody understands about me is...

Why I have so much difficulty sleeping. Or why my migraines make me want to kill someone. If they don't experience it, they just don't get it. Fair enough I guess. 

One thing I don't understand is...

How people don't think them picking to spend all their time with their partner won't have a negative impact on your friendships. If you always tell me you're busy, I'm just not going to invite you anymore. 

The world would be a better place if...

France and Newfoundland were the same place.

If I had a million dollars I'd...

Pay off debt, give some to charity and move to Europe. or move someone to Canada. whichever.

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be...

I have a really short temper at times. Need to get that on lock down. 

Something that can always make me happy is...

French fries

Something I'll never blog about is...

not much I wouldn't blog about really

If I could go anywhere I would go...

Australia, Germany, Switzerland, just.. everywhere.

because...

there is so much more to see than just where I live!

If I were an animal I would be a....

sloth. They are basically my spirit animal anyway

A job I've always wanted is..

There isn't one job i've always wanted. it changes. Right now it's speech pathologist. 

My idea of a perfect day is...

Sleeping till 11, getting lunch at my fave restaurant then lounging. 

If I knew I'd die next week, this week I'd...

Eat everything. Quit my job and see as many places as I could.  Tell everyone every second of the day that I love them. 



So that's all she wrote! Enjoy your monday!

                                                               

Get your nails done, get your hair did

So since I’ve only just started this job I don’t really have a lot of responsibility yet. I’m sure that will come in time, but for right now I have a lot of free time on my hands but I don’t want to be caught and fired for surfing the interwebz too much. And let’s be honest I do enough of that at home anyway.

I like to think I'm being super creative and innovative AND sneaky by writing this in a word document, but I’m sure I’m not the first person to come up with the idea to write a blog post in Word and then copy and paste. I would be giving myself way too much credit if that was the case.

So with all this time on my hands, why not give you the low down on what I did this weekend?

Friday

Friday night, my friend Katherine and I decided we were need of a good cry, and I mean a GOOD cry. So we went to see the Fault in Our Stars. I need to start off by saying that I read the book and not once did I shed a tear while reading it. Was it sad? Absolutely! But for whatever reason, there was nothing in it that sent messages to my brain to tell me I should find this so sad that tears should be pouring out. Well, I more than made for the lack of crying while reading the book when I saw the movie. Any time anyone had a sad look on their face, I would start to tear up.

And then there were the real ugly tears. You know, where your face turns red and you start to hyperventilate? They were happening. I don’t think I could ever be a pretty crier. It’s full on waterworks or bust for me. Which is fine, I just wish I had been smart enough to take off my makeup before the movie. But if the worst thing that happens to me is mascara running down my face then I think I’m ok.

The movie was amazing. I would really recommend it. I usually don’t enjoy Shailene Woodley (purely based off of Secret Life of the American Teenager, which I really shouldn’t fault anyone for because I mean it was just a terrible show) but she played the character so well.

After the movie I went home and went to bed. They start movies here at crazy late times like 10:30! I mean that’s a bit late to be starting a movie; some people need their beauty sleep.

Saturday

 On Saturday I headed out for a usual Saturday date with my friend Chris to subway. I wish I could lie to you and pretend that I don’t eat subway on a regular basis or that I’m not weirdly obsessed with it but that just isn’t true. You could feed me that 6-inch turkey all day every day and I would never get sick of it.

 Post lunch it was time for me to get my hair did. Needless to say my “bangs” were need of some TLC. I hadn’t gotten my hair cut for a couple of months and it was starting to knot in the back. This made brushing it through a real DREAM. I was so tempted to shave my whole head but I know would have regretted it approx. as soon as it was happening.

 After ma hurr appointment, I went back home, up to my room to my laptop; this where I’m likely to be found if I’m at home. I turned on Orange is the New Black which was supposed to be “just one episode” but turned into 3. I’m still not on the second season but I just don’t want it to be over.

After my little binge watching spree, I headed over the liquor and picked out some of Australia’s finest Riesling (re: cheapest):

 and got Wendys for supper. I have this idea in my head that anything over 10 dollars is already too much for a bottle of wine so when I’m feeling fancy I go for the Yellow Tail. This all took place at approx. 6pm. Then I had to start getting ready for my friend’s party. And for me, getting ready to go out is a PRODUCTION.

Step one: Shower (even if I’ve already showered that day, but I probably forgot to shave because come on, ain’t nobody got time for that)

Step two: Lay around in a towel for an hour thinking about what you’re going to wear.

Step three: Finally pick out an outfit, only to hate it the second you put it on and end up changing 10 times.

Step four: Give up and just wear the damn outfit you were going in the first place.

Step five: Makeup. Pretend that you know what you’re doing and try to effortlessly blend like they do in youtube videos.

Step 6: Fail miserably. Also get mascara under your eyes because you are definitely a grown woman who can put makeup on. Stick the normal colours that don’t generally cause you any problems.

Step 7: Rethink everything (outfit, makeup etc.) The decide that it’s too late now, you’re already an hour and a half late so just get your butt out the door. So yeah, I need quite a bit of time to get maself all beautimous.

I went to my friend’s house, had a few (many) drinks then went out on the town. We danced, drank some more and then 3 o’clock struck and it was food time. We managed to get a can home rather quickly as well (mostly because the guys who were getting the cab first were nice enough to let us have it).

I am the queen of taking sober looking pictures...

On Sunday I woke up in the wee hours of the morning (9am..which after getting home at 4am is really too early). Sunday afternoon I went to a bridal shower where there was free food. Need I say more? There were many MANY ham sandwiches consumed. The games were cute and everyone had a good time. After the shower my friend Rebecca (from www.rebeccalikesnail.com!) did ma nails!

I love love love them. And they are making typing this up that much more fun. Anyway, that’s about it for me! What trouble did you get into this weekend?
 

Long time no post

So I kinda sorta completely fell off the blogging wagon. I guess I deemed my life not interesting enough for people to want to read, without really realizing that at least I would be able to look back on what happened and laugh, even if no one else is laughing with me.

ANYWHO. Since my last post here I spent 5 amazing months living in France and travelling around Europe during an exchange program with my university. It was amazing. This time going away was a bit different because I wasn't going with someone I really knew. The girl I lived with I had worked with for about 3 weeks and that was it. So I was basically moving in with a stranger in a new country in a different language.

Safe to say, even though there were ups and downs, I had the time of my life.

I became the typical tourist:

Those are only a few. I managed to get to Amsterdam, Rome, Venice, Cinque Terre, Barcelona, Athens, London, Lyon, Paris, Prague and couple of smaller cities and towns in France. There wasn't enough time (or money because let's be honest I was buying at least one dress and more than one bottle of wine during each trip) to visit everywhere but I think I definitely made the most of my time there!

Oh yeah, I was also in school there but like, travelling, am I right?

I also managed to snag myself a French man

who I am beyond excited to go back and visit in October. 

As of right now, I am back home doing the 9-5, monday- friday life. It's not awful, I mean it's going to take me a while to get back into the habit of waking up any time before noon. It's good but extremely bittersweet to be back home. I am super happy to be back with my friends and family but I definitely miss the french life!

I think that's it for this update. I guess I should do some work.