How to not be THAT guy on a plane

I was thinking today about my past flight experiences and the people I met. I've also been thinking about what  makes a good flight buddy. I have come to learn that there trends that need to come to an end.

So here we go, how to be the best flight buddy you can be.

1) If you're a nervous flyer, please take some ativan and don't talk to me.

I understand you are stressed I do. Flying thousands of feet above the ground is not exactly a secure feeling but please PLEASE don't make it known to me you are nervous. I will in turn get nervous and then freak you out more and it will just be an escalating fear for the next 3 hours.

2) If my headphones are in, that means we are in a no talky zone.

Seriously. I'm probably not interested in what you're saying, I'm more interested in watching Frozen again for 100th time even though I know all the words. If I knew the conversation would be short, I would gladly listen but I am not prepared for 4 hours. Thanks bye.

3) Watch your elbows

Ok sir we are shoulder to shoulder here, I know. But can you please not keep your elbow on my volume ajduster thingys on the seat. I am just trying to watch this movie and you keep changing the volume on me and I can't change it because you're elbow is in the way. I also have said this to you a couple times and you are still doing it. HANDS IN FRONT OF YOU.


When I was coming back from Florida two years ago, I ended up sitting next to this man who had just gone to Las Vegas. He was old and nice and everything, but I knew from the moment he sat down I was not going to enjoying my book anymore. He showed me 420 pictures (on his new ipad he got because he signed up for a new cable bundle) of the Grand Canyon. I don't even need to go visit it myself, I've seen it.

He also then proceeded to tell me he wrote a book about Newfoundland and he writes for a paper. And it ended weirdly 2 hours later when he asked me to send him a picture of myself when I graduated. I'm sure he had the best intentions, but I just wanted to enjoy my book and a nap.

Do you have any plane horror stories? Or have you managed to escape the talkers?

I never do it seems. Let's find out what happens on my next flight come october.



No comments