1) Bugs
I don't enjoy living in a constant fear of being stung, bitten or having something fly into my ears/eyes/hair/any other body part. I don't need ants crawling in my bed and I definitely don't get joy from hearing crickets.
2) No cell reception
Hello it's the 21st century and I shouldn't have to go into the wilderness without the ability to call 911, or go on facebook. Call me high maintenance but I don't want to sit around without songza. Not gonna happen.
3) You are sleeping on the ground
You know what was meant to be slept on? A BED. Not the ground. No an air mattress or a foam pad do not count as a substitute. You what is in the ground? Bugs, animals and other unknown creatures. Why WHY would you put your head next to that?
4) You're freezing when you go to sleep and sweating when you wake up
You are NEVER at a comfortable temperature. You have 100 blankets on you at bed time because it's 2am, you're outside and there's no heat. Well too bad because once the sun comes up that tent heats up like mofo and you are sweating like you've never sweat before and are on the verge of throwing up. YEAH SOUNDS LIKE FUN
5) No showers
Guess what, washing your hair in a muggy pond doesn't actually get the job done. I leave the water feeling more gross than I did when I got in the water which was already pretty disgusting.
6) There is no drive-thru or subway near by
Canned beans, I think not. Bring me to the nearest Wendy's please.
Where the nearest hotel at?
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